Hi.
My name is Brandy Kay Parker...has been all my life. I've never really cared much for sharing my thoughts with others. They are inside my head for a reason. I just felt that this blog is more for me than it is you, so why not? Why not express myself in a way that only words can describe. They always say actions speak louder than words, but in my humble opinion, what you say and think says more about you than you could ever imagine. It takes a toll on your mental state.
I'm not as pretty as my sisters. I will never get married because there is something wrong with me. How could anybody love me? I'm the black sheep of the family and they don't love me as much. I'm not important. I'm going to die alone...well me and my 53 cats. I'm not as skinny as I wish I was. These are all thoughts that have crossed my mind at one point or another. Honestly, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of putting myself down! All it does is make me feel even worse, like my life is nowhere near as important and useful as it could be. I could be great if I really wanted to! I just choose to be average so that I don't make anybody else feel the way I do. ;) If only eh?
Honest truth? I have gone through a lot in these short yet drug out 19 years of life I have been living. Everyday I fight another battle, whether it be with myself or with the struggles of the world around me. There is a lot going on in my head that my family couldn't even begin to imagine. I keep things inside because once again those nasty thoughts come into my head. Nobody really cares about you and what you have to say. Why would anybody want to listen to you, you aren't THAT important? You are wasting yours and other people's time. There is a lot going on behind my closed doors, and it is time to open those doors and let it all flow out. It's time to be ok with who I am! Time to win the war. Time to make peace with the war inside my head. Let the final battle begin.
You've surely heard it a million times but everyone is struggling with something and we all have that little voice in our head that Satan laughs when he hears. It is hard to let go of these thoughts. I was 26 when I finally found someone. Your young and have plenty of time so don't give up! But give it to our Savior instead! If we let I'm carry our burdens they become easy to bear? Faith and Patience. That is my motto. Thing will come in Gods time so let him carry it and you change those words in your head because you are beautiful and kind. And you are a Parker and we are strong!
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you to be your own best friend! It's gonna take some time to build that trust with yourself, but I have no doubt you will. Then you'll know why people love you, because you'll be the friend to yourself that you are to them!
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how happy I am that you're gonna do this, that you're aware enough to do this!! It took me more years than I'd have liked to come around to it, but it was worth it.
Yay for you! Yay yay yay!!!
P.S. If you need a cheerleader, consider this my application :)