Life is a funny thing. It opens up so many doors for you but no matter what door you choose, you feel like there is something better out there. Something more you could be doing. Something you could change for the better. For the past six months I have been breaking down doors and trying to find my way only to find myself back to where I started. I never understood why nothing worked out the way I wanted. I had prayed about it and it felt good, so why was I still stuck? Eventually I realized that I was going about life all wrong.
None of the decisions I made were bad, they just weren't what I needed and what was best for me at the time. I was frustrated and my life fell apart. I let my life fall apart. I just stopped trying to find my way and I started sinking. I was so low and desperate for any kind of light or happiness that I reverted back to what I was used to. I thought I knew what made me happy and what I wanted out of life. Everything started to brighten up. I was happy and I wasn't worried about being stuck because at least I knew I was where I was safe and comfortable.
Looking back at it now, I realize how stupid I was. Although I wouldn't change what I did. Because of the decision I made to go back, I was able to move forward in a large way. I went back to who and what I thought I loved and was best for me. I was more than 100% wrong. Luckily I realized it before I got in to deep and there was no turning back. Because I went back, I realized why I needed now more than ever to move forward. Moving forward was just what I did.
I moved out of my parents house and went back to school. I am slowing transitioning back to what the Lord had planned for me. Oh how I have been blessed! I let go of everything and my Heavenly Father was there to catch me and lead me forward just like he promised he would. No, my life isn't perfect, but it is good. I am happy. I can genuinely say that I, Brandy Kay Parker, am satisfied with the life I live. I have been so blessed with those I have been surrounded with.
My new roommates are my best friends. We have been since the first couple of days. It was shocking how well we got along so quickly. I feel like my prayers have finally been answered. There is a God and He loves me! I have been blessed and I cannot thank those who have supported me and been there with me through thick and thin enough. Their love is what kept me going. They were what got me out of bed everyday. Maybe now this is it. This is my happy beginning. I can't wait to see where my Heavenly Father and I go from here.
