Life always has its ups and downs. Some are harder than the other, some seem harder because they are longer, and some are just annoying. I have had all of the above in my life, but who hasn't really? I find myself in a new light today. I feel like today was the start of letting go. Letting go of my past, letting go of my imperfections, letting go of what other people think of me. I find I am more fully myself each and every day. I have some how come out of all the pain, suffering, and tears with hope. Hope that I am good enough. I am no where near perfect but I try. I am only human after all. I have been on a quest for happiness for a long time now and I have been learning on the way. One of the greatest things I have learned so far was from a very wise old man.
I was at work just going about my day when I was hit with the wise words I hope to share with you. I had helped many customers and when this old man walked in I thought nothing of it. I helped him find what he was looking for and sent him on his way. As he was about to walk out the door I leave him with the words I leave everyone who walks in and out of my store. "Have a good day."
You see, these are ordinary words and they are used every single day and I thought nothing of their value or how it would change my life. Once those words rolled off my tongue the old man said one sentence and it immediately hit me like a wall of bricks or like a palm to my forehead. The old man became wise because after I had told him to "Have a good day," he turned and said "I will try my best to do so." He then smiled as if he knew he had just given this 20 year old girl in search of happiness the secret she needed to attain her goal. I have not see the wise old man since but his words have stuck with me like gorilla glue.
How are we supposed to be happy if we don't try our best each and every day to do so? It is nearly impossible. We must learn to find at least one happy thing each day in order to continually be happy. Even if it is just a laugh or a smile, it is happiness.
I was having a horrible day after I had been presented with the words of the wise old man, and I decided I better put that frustration to good use and go running. I was running around the green belt here in Idaho Falls and I came upon a father and son who were playing catch. It was an ordinary scene except for the fact that the ball was imaginary. The young boy laughed with joy as his father told him to "go long" as the imaginary ball went flying through the air. That scene was simple. It wasn't extraordinary. But it made me smile and that was an instant mood changer. I was trying my best to change the horrible day into a useful one and I found what I was looking for.
Each day I make sure to laugh or smile at least once. It is not very hard with a dorky family like mine, but knowing I can count on them to make me laugh is a piece of happiness of itself. I am thankful I was graced with the knowledge of that wise old man. I do not even recall his name or what he bought from me, but those simple words will stick with me for the rest of my life. I hope that you will take those words and ponder them and see for yourself how it can change your life. It surely has changed mine and I wouldn't go back and un-meet this wise old man.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
Life Isn't As Hard As I Think
It is currently 4:05 in the morning. I should be asleep but all I can do is sit here and ponder. I have found myself thinking of just about everything under the sun and yet at the same time I feel my mind go blank. I just got back from an amazingly weird weekend with my mom and I already wish I could go back. It was a weekend of shopping, zoos, TONS of food, throw up, passing the salt, jamming out in the car, and most importantly laughter. My mother and I had the opportunity to go to Utah this past weekend to see my cousin get married for all time and eternity.
As I watched the newly weds walk out of those temple doors the only thing I could do is yearn for that opportunity. That is what I want. I want nothing more than to one day walk out of those temple doors and look next to me and see the best decision I will ever make. I imagine that once I walk out those doors, all my past mistakes and all the things I had to fight through to get there will just disappear. I crave that moment. It is not currently my time for that blessing, and I still have to fight to get there, but I know the fight will be worth it.
I feel the weight of my mistakes piling up on my shoulders each and every day. I try to let go, but I am human. I make mistakes just like everybody else in this world, but for some reason I think I need to hold onto every single one. I let it get into my head and it gets hard. I have been very fortunate to have friends and family in my life that want to help lift those burdens. I will forever be grateful for all of them. Though they may not always be in my life, I know that they will forever have a special place in my heart. I can't live this life alone and I know that because I have those special people, I will never have to.
The best way to cure the burden of life is to smile and laugh. Life is hard. There is no denying that. It throws you around and then back again. I have been through that cycle once or twice. There is no stopping it. You just have to fight through, but no one said the fight had to be done with a straight face. I love to laugh and smile. They are two of my favorite things to do. For those of you who know me understand that I am loud, dorky, I love to jam out in the car, and I make tons of jokes. If I never had to be serious, I don't know if I would be, and you know what? I am perfectly ok with that. It has made life a whole lot better.
I was thinking to myself, in my late night ponder, that my life was hard. I took a quick look and that was my first reaction. As soon as the words left my lips, I had to take them right back. That was the biggest lie I could have told myself. My life is great. It may be hard at times, but as a whole it is pretty darn good. I just need to focus on the good things around me. I just had a wonderful weekend with my mother, I have some pretty dang awesome roommates, my family just keeps on growing with babies, I enjoy my job, as hard as they may be I like my classes, and summer is here.
As I focus on the good things in my life I feel the burdens lift and I become grateful for the little things. The smell of summer air, the warmth of my bed at night, the words that are said to me, the hugs from friends and family, the sound of laughter, and the feeling of satisfaction with life as I write this. Life isn't as hard as I think.
As I watched the newly weds walk out of those temple doors the only thing I could do is yearn for that opportunity. That is what I want. I want nothing more than to one day walk out of those temple doors and look next to me and see the best decision I will ever make. I imagine that once I walk out those doors, all my past mistakes and all the things I had to fight through to get there will just disappear. I crave that moment. It is not currently my time for that blessing, and I still have to fight to get there, but I know the fight will be worth it.
I feel the weight of my mistakes piling up on my shoulders each and every day. I try to let go, but I am human. I make mistakes just like everybody else in this world, but for some reason I think I need to hold onto every single one. I let it get into my head and it gets hard. I have been very fortunate to have friends and family in my life that want to help lift those burdens. I will forever be grateful for all of them. Though they may not always be in my life, I know that they will forever have a special place in my heart. I can't live this life alone and I know that because I have those special people, I will never have to.
The best way to cure the burden of life is to smile and laugh. Life is hard. There is no denying that. It throws you around and then back again. I have been through that cycle once or twice. There is no stopping it. You just have to fight through, but no one said the fight had to be done with a straight face. I love to laugh and smile. They are two of my favorite things to do. For those of you who know me understand that I am loud, dorky, I love to jam out in the car, and I make tons of jokes. If I never had to be serious, I don't know if I would be, and you know what? I am perfectly ok with that. It has made life a whole lot better.
I was thinking to myself, in my late night ponder, that my life was hard. I took a quick look and that was my first reaction. As soon as the words left my lips, I had to take them right back. That was the biggest lie I could have told myself. My life is great. It may be hard at times, but as a whole it is pretty darn good. I just need to focus on the good things around me. I just had a wonderful weekend with my mother, I have some pretty dang awesome roommates, my family just keeps on growing with babies, I enjoy my job, as hard as they may be I like my classes, and summer is here.
As I focus on the good things in my life I feel the burdens lift and I become grateful for the little things. The smell of summer air, the warmth of my bed at night, the words that are said to me, the hugs from friends and family, the sound of laughter, and the feeling of satisfaction with life as I write this. Life isn't as hard as I think.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
My Happy Beginning
Life is a funny thing. It opens up so many doors for you but no matter what door you choose, you feel like there is something better out there. Something more you could be doing. Something you could change for the better. For the past six months I have been breaking down doors and trying to find my way only to find myself back to where I started. I never understood why nothing worked out the way I wanted. I had prayed about it and it felt good, so why was I still stuck? Eventually I realized that I was going about life all wrong.
None of the decisions I made were bad, they just weren't what I needed and what was best for me at the time. I was frustrated and my life fell apart. I let my life fall apart. I just stopped trying to find my way and I started sinking. I was so low and desperate for any kind of light or happiness that I reverted back to what I was used to. I thought I knew what made me happy and what I wanted out of life. Everything started to brighten up. I was happy and I wasn't worried about being stuck because at least I knew I was where I was safe and comfortable.
Looking back at it now, I realize how stupid I was. Although I wouldn't change what I did. Because of the decision I made to go back, I was able to move forward in a large way. I went back to who and what I thought I loved and was best for me. I was more than 100% wrong. Luckily I realized it before I got in to deep and there was no turning back. Because I went back, I realized why I needed now more than ever to move forward. Moving forward was just what I did.
I moved out of my parents house and went back to school. I am slowing transitioning back to what the Lord had planned for me. Oh how I have been blessed! I let go of everything and my Heavenly Father was there to catch me and lead me forward just like he promised he would. No, my life isn't perfect, but it is good. I am happy. I can genuinely say that I, Brandy Kay Parker, am satisfied with the life I live. I have been so blessed with those I have been surrounded with.
My new roommates are my best friends. We have been since the first couple of days. It was shocking how well we got along so quickly. I feel like my prayers have finally been answered. There is a God and He loves me! I have been blessed and I cannot thank those who have supported me and been there with me through thick and thin enough. Their love is what kept me going. They were what got me out of bed everyday. Maybe now this is it. This is my happy beginning. I can't wait to see where my Heavenly Father and I go from here.
None of the decisions I made were bad, they just weren't what I needed and what was best for me at the time. I was frustrated and my life fell apart. I let my life fall apart. I just stopped trying to find my way and I started sinking. I was so low and desperate for any kind of light or happiness that I reverted back to what I was used to. I thought I knew what made me happy and what I wanted out of life. Everything started to brighten up. I was happy and I wasn't worried about being stuck because at least I knew I was where I was safe and comfortable.
Looking back at it now, I realize how stupid I was. Although I wouldn't change what I did. Because of the decision I made to go back, I was able to move forward in a large way. I went back to who and what I thought I loved and was best for me. I was more than 100% wrong. Luckily I realized it before I got in to deep and there was no turning back. Because I went back, I realized why I needed now more than ever to move forward. Moving forward was just what I did.
I moved out of my parents house and went back to school. I am slowing transitioning back to what the Lord had planned for me. Oh how I have been blessed! I let go of everything and my Heavenly Father was there to catch me and lead me forward just like he promised he would. No, my life isn't perfect, but it is good. I am happy. I can genuinely say that I, Brandy Kay Parker, am satisfied with the life I live. I have been so blessed with those I have been surrounded with.
My new roommates are my best friends. We have been since the first couple of days. It was shocking how well we got along so quickly. I feel like my prayers have finally been answered. There is a God and He loves me! I have been blessed and I cannot thank those who have supported me and been there with me through thick and thin enough. Their love is what kept me going. They were what got me out of bed everyday. Maybe now this is it. This is my happy beginning. I can't wait to see where my Heavenly Father and I go from here.
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