About a month ago, I was talking with one of my closest friends and he mentioned that I had seemed down and wanted to make sure I was ok. I, of course, lied and said I was fine. I do not take pity or help well. I tend to let my pride get the best of me and think I can handle everything on my own. Well, my friend is just as stubborn as I am and he finally got me talking about what was on my mind. I told him that I felt I had no direction in life and I felt as though each day were the same. I couldn't tell the difference between a Tuesday and a Friday because I did the exact same thing each day. Being the wise man he is, he started asking me questions to get me thinking. He asked me what I wanted most from this life. I told him a family. He laughed and said he thinks that is a wonderful thing to aspire to have, but that it was not an option for me at the time. He asked me what was more realistic for me. I told him that I was afraid that one day when I am gray and old my grandchildren would beg me to tell them stories about my life and I wouldn't have any to tell them. He laughed once more and said that was still in the future but he agreed that it was something I could work towards each day. He then gave me the wonderful idea to make every day an adventure.
I then set my mind to it and decided that each day I would do something for myself. Whether it be eating a whole pizza by myself or going on a hike with a couple friends. I was going to find solitude and adventure in my life in order to create those stories for my grandchildren. I owe them that much! I am not perfect at doing this everyday but it is a start.
Another wise piece of advice my friend gave me was the fact that even though I have responsibilities I needed to attend to each day, sometimes they were allowed to be put on the back burner in order to go enjoy what life has to offer. He firmly believes that those small adventures are what make up life. He called me about a week ago and told me he was on his way to pick me up and we were going to go to West Yellowstone. I told him that was unrealistic because I had homework I should be doing and a test to study for. There were a million other responsibilities I should be attending to. My friend told me he didn't care and that he was still coming. I resigned my agency on the matter as he was not about to back down. I got into his car and our adventure began. It was one of the best days I had had in a long time. I could finally forget about the stresses and worries of my everyday life. I began to relax and my cheeks hurt from the childlike grin on my face and my stomach hurt from obnoxious cackle like laugh I hadn't made in a long time.
Our adventure didn't last for more than the day, but the relief and relaxation it gave me did. I was able to tackle my homework and work with a clear mind. The small adventure we went on gave me the reset I needed. As I was discussing this difference in my attitude and over all temperament with him he told me that was what life was about. Our lives cannot be one large adventure but each day can have an adventure in it. Those small adventures are what I want to tell my grandchildren. It is just another way to tackle on the adventure we call life.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Do Not Dwell
As most of you know already, I have been on the quest for happiness for as long as I can remember. I seem to catch glimpses of it and then it fades and things go dark again. Lately I have been trying to hold onto those glimpses. I have found myself actually realizing how happy I was that day. It comes and goes but I am trying not to dwell on the bad things that happen each day. It is not easy to let go of things for me. I don't let things roll off my back as quickly as I should. I came to the realization of how true that was about me while I was helping a customer at work.
It had been an average day at work. I had been working on the computer like I do every day when a customer came in. I helped him find what he was looking for and started to ring him up. I ran his card just like I had done a thousand other times that day when the computer froze and the transaction failed. I apologized and called my boss in to see if he could help me out. Unfortunately I had to restart the computer and ring the customer up all over again. The computer took longer than expected and the customer had been waiting patiently, but I was unsure how long that patience would last. I was getting very frustrated and felt bad that I was keeping the man form the other things I am sure he had to attend. I kept apologizing in an effort to make it right. The man looks up at me and says "If this is the worst thing to happen to me all day, then it has been a great day."
I laughed at that because of how true that is. Whenever something goes wrong in my day I tend to dwell on it and let it take over the rest of my day. I did that just today actually. I was in a wonderful mood and the day had been filled with laughter. I was helping a customer when he started to get frustrated with me. As that man left the store I was in a foul mood and I no longer wanted to be at work. I wanted to just go home and sleep for the rest of the day. It was unbelievable how quickly my mood changed and how I instantly thought that the whole day had been awful. I was disappointed in how I let one bad thing take over the whole day.
Those two men also taught me another wonderful lesson. They taught me that I can only be as happy as those I surround myself with. I have unconditional support and love from those around me and I couldn't be more thankful. Not too long ago I had started spending my time with an individual who was unhappy and thought that only bad things happened to him, nothing good would ever come his way. I found myself thinking those same thoughts while I was with him. My mood would instantly change the moment we were together. My roommates, bless their hearts, had to deal with that for way longer than they should have. I would always get grumpy when I went to see him and I would return home even more so. However, on the days where I did not see this individual I was happy and back to being "my old self."
I have learned more than I could ever imagine in the past year. I have learned that happiness is not given. It is taken. I have to strive to be the happy person I so earnestly want to be. If I do not change the bad in my life, it will eat at me and eventually the happiness will be gone forever. I am not entitled to anything I do not work for. I am only 20 and life is hard. I am not perfect. I am sure there are many more life lessons I will stubble upon through this journey, but I look forward to the happiness that is sure to follow.
It had been an average day at work. I had been working on the computer like I do every day when a customer came in. I helped him find what he was looking for and started to ring him up. I ran his card just like I had done a thousand other times that day when the computer froze and the transaction failed. I apologized and called my boss in to see if he could help me out. Unfortunately I had to restart the computer and ring the customer up all over again. The computer took longer than expected and the customer had been waiting patiently, but I was unsure how long that patience would last. I was getting very frustrated and felt bad that I was keeping the man form the other things I am sure he had to attend. I kept apologizing in an effort to make it right. The man looks up at me and says "If this is the worst thing to happen to me all day, then it has been a great day."
I laughed at that because of how true that is. Whenever something goes wrong in my day I tend to dwell on it and let it take over the rest of my day. I did that just today actually. I was in a wonderful mood and the day had been filled with laughter. I was helping a customer when he started to get frustrated with me. As that man left the store I was in a foul mood and I no longer wanted to be at work. I wanted to just go home and sleep for the rest of the day. It was unbelievable how quickly my mood changed and how I instantly thought that the whole day had been awful. I was disappointed in how I let one bad thing take over the whole day.
Those two men also taught me another wonderful lesson. They taught me that I can only be as happy as those I surround myself with. I have unconditional support and love from those around me and I couldn't be more thankful. Not too long ago I had started spending my time with an individual who was unhappy and thought that only bad things happened to him, nothing good would ever come his way. I found myself thinking those same thoughts while I was with him. My mood would instantly change the moment we were together. My roommates, bless their hearts, had to deal with that for way longer than they should have. I would always get grumpy when I went to see him and I would return home even more so. However, on the days where I did not see this individual I was happy and back to being "my old self."
I have learned more than I could ever imagine in the past year. I have learned that happiness is not given. It is taken. I have to strive to be the happy person I so earnestly want to be. If I do not change the bad in my life, it will eat at me and eventually the happiness will be gone forever. I am not entitled to anything I do not work for. I am only 20 and life is hard. I am not perfect. I am sure there are many more life lessons I will stubble upon through this journey, but I look forward to the happiness that is sure to follow.
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